Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Modern Boy (A Parody)

For those of you who know a thing or three about Chofetz Chaim, this is a song written by a few of the bachorim in the Queens branch (A.K.A. "The Mothership"). For those of you who don't know anything about it, you may want to start learning for the sake of understanding this song. If I get permission, I will at some point post the names of the writers. The song is written to the tune of "Country Boy" by Abie Rottenberg.

I was raised in a modern home where to college we would go
How I came to Chofetz Chaim's something no one seems to know
I played Game Boy in Tif Mo, my Dad ate Hershey's bars
Each year we'd fly the blue and white on the fifth day of Iyar

My folks werem't happy that I came to this school,
They feared I'd sit and branch forever, against their college rule.
I grew into a man with my unproductive life,
But I'd have to wait 'till 24 before looking for a wife.

Chorus
I was a modern boy around the Chofetz Chaim way,
Learning slow, hocking hard, mussar every day.
Never gave much thought to becoming brainwashed by what I saw
Wouldn't trade my way of life for a rich father-in-law.

One night in the attic in an old and dusty crate,
I found great grandpa's diary. 'Till dawn i read it straight.
Turns out he came from Europe back in 1923,
The star talmud to my surprise of the Slabodka dynasty

I showed it to my parent. They said "son, yes it's true."
But it's just ancient history; don't let it trouble you.
First thing that our grandpa did when he set foot on this land
Was throw out all his neckties, and from Chofetz Chaim he was banned.

Chorus
I was a modern boy around the Chofetz Chaim way,
Learning slow, hocking hard, mussar every day.
Never gave much thought to becoming brainwashed by what I saw
Wouldn't trade my way of life for a rich father-in-law.

I was more than taken back, my thoughts out of control,
I said, "I have to know more," put my college plans on hold.
I drove up to Chofetz Chaim, told some Rabbi what I knew,
He said, "Please let me teach you the only way to be a Jew."

He taught me about Mussar and the Shmuessin - 613
And how we don't need white shirts if we keep the blue ones clean.
Day after day he'd pressure me, "go to Dallas, I know you can,"
He seemed so thrilled when I said, "I guess I'll change the way I am."

They all came out to great me, the Roshei Yeshiva and their crew.
Happy that I came back, and that I liked hocking, too.
They said, "Bochur, while you were in college, we had no doubt,
That we'd buy you a yeshivish car the day that you dropped out."

We each have moments in our lives that show G-d's providence.
Mostly we just shrug 'em off as a mere coincidence.
But when I went to get new plates down at the DMV,
The license plate they gave me read G-E-T-J-O-B.

Chorus
I'm still a modern boy, but now my life's a dream come true.
I study Torah while in college in a place known as YU.
I'm glad I wasn't/ brainwashed by what I saw
Wouldn't trade my PhD for a rich father-in-law

February 10, 2010

I haven't been able to find the song on line anywhere. If anybody can find it and send a link, I'd be glad to post it here.

Update: Here's the original song. Thanks to Son of a Posek

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