Thursday, January 28, 2010

Please be Sensitive

I am sarcastically impaired. I have been for a while now. It's gotten bad. It has reached the point when I don't know when someone else is being sarcastic, and others don't understand when I'm trying to be sarcastic. I have always thought that sarcasm should be prompted or at the very least hinted to when it is being done.

Many people have tried to come up with ways to avoid awkward situations where one party does not understand the attempted sarcasm. This is especially true in the world of Instant Messaging. There has always been a problem of miscommunicated sarcasm on IM and "lol" barely helped. So, some genius came along and invented the sarcmark for those people who need to spend money on nothing (lol).

I mentioned this great invention to a friend of mine who is quite familiar with my disability and he came up with a sign for me. Now, it is entirely possible that he got this idea from an episode of The Big Bang Theory, but the idea is that whenever someone is being sarcastic and they want a sarcastically impaired person to get in on the action, they will hold their fist up as if holding a sign attached to a pole.

I must say, it worked. I became more aware of sarcasm and when it's used, and gradually I was able to lose the signal. However, it made me a little too good at it, and from this knowledge a whole new set of problems arose, the main one being that I was not able to determine the appropriate time for sarcasm. So, I now present to you...

Times NOT to be Sarcastic:

1) When at a wedding and signing the Tanaim, and the Mesader Kidushin asks "how are you going to sign your name," don't answer "with a pen." They don't appreciate humor at that time.

2) When having a conversation with a group of teenage boys about movies, and one of them says "I don't watch movies because I don't want to have any benefit from something made by a non-Jew," don't respond, "so take off your clothing." Because he will.

3) When on a date, and the girl remarks "I love Oprah," do not, under any circumstances say "Oh yeah, she's great." Or else be prepared to talk about nothing else for three hours.

I hope these help. If you have any sarcasm stories, post them below. I'd love to hear them. lol

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